Functioning burnout: can’t stop, won’t stop

By Katie Munday (they / them)

So many of us Autistic folk struggle with burnout – the extreme fatigue which comes from sensorial, emotional and mental overwhelm.

This can cause us to shutdown – some of us can be in bed for days or weeks on end, incapable of functioning at our usual level of activity, finding everything mentally taxing.

Many of us can’t afford to succumb to shutdown and her alluring siren call of isolation and inactivity. We have to surge through and somehow keep ourselves together.

This is especially difficult for those of us who have lots of responsibilities like raising young children and working full time. We just have to put our heads down and get on with it.

I have been in burnout for four months now, probably even longer. I am getting on with the day to day but I am well and truly overloaded, exhausted and floating around doing things purely by muscle memory.

I am struggling with basic self care, remembering to eat and drink, brushing my teeth, showering. It used to be that I was ashamed of all these struggles but now I just remind myself that it’s really hard to exist sometimes, so much so that the basics sometimes have to slip.

I know I’m not alone with my state of (barely) functioning burnout, so many of us are there right now, especially with the global pandemic, times of austerity and diminishing protections for Disabled folk. We are dazed, confused, exhausted by it all.

For others who are feeling this way: you’re not alone and you’re not broken. You are doing so amazingly well in a time and place which has been turned on its head.

We will come out of this phase, because that is all it is, a phase, and that means things will get better.

And for those of you who aren’t in burnout at the moment check in on your friends (even your non-Autistic ones!) because you never know when that might save someone from complete shutdown.